Articles

During the third week of February, 2008, Sri Ezhilmani’s 70th birthday was celebrated once more. This time, it was on the day his birth star coincided. An abhishekam was to be done at the shrine of Thillai Kaali, in Chidambaram, as well as at the Goddess Raja Rajeshwari shrine at Tirumeeyachur. Visits to the famous Abhiraami Amman at Tirukkadayur as well Goddess Saraswathi at Koothanur were also scheduled.

Since the main event was being held at the Abhirami temple in Tirukkadaiyur, I decided to meet up with the family from Nemili there, on Saturday, February23rd.

I also thought I could squeeze in a visit to a few more temples in the vicinity, on this trip.

In particular, I thought I could visit the national heritage Chola temple at Gangai Konda Cholapuram; pray to the Garbarakshaambikkai Amman at Tirukarukaavur, see the splendour of Lord Shiva in his wedding attire as he weds Parvathi at Tirumananjeri; and perhaps, a few more important pilgrim sites in the surrounding areas of Tanjavur and Kumbakonam.

Little did I know that Bala’s plans for me were completely different.

I caught up with Sri Ezhilmani’s family at Chidambaram, the first stop.

Forty odd family members descended from a huge bus at around 8 a.m. and went inside a nearby restaurant to eat breakfast. I didn’t go up to meet them. Instead, I thought I could get a head start by obtaining a darshan of Lord Nataraja. The main sanctum appeared quite deserted at this time and I was able to stand up close to the Lord while the morning puja was being conducted. Later, I wandered around the many shrines inside this vast temple complex and finally came upon the family group from Nemili just as the 10 a.m. puja was about to start. Since I had already witnessed one such puja earlier, I took leave of them and said I would meet with them , later that evening, at Tirukkadaiyur. This was their final destination for the evening, following an abhishekam for Thillai Kaali.

I departed in my car for the temple of Thillai Kaali. I heard a small voice telling me that I should really be visiting these temples along with the family instead of doing my own tour and meeting up with them when it was convenient to me. Also, my hotel for that night had been booked at Kumbakonam, quite a distance from Tirukkadaiyur where the other members of the party were staying. I got the uneasy feeling this was not going to be all right.

However, I shook off these thoughts and went ahead.

I did get a darshan of Thillai Kaali. It was perhaps not the very best, because when I walked in arrangements were being made to perform the abhishekam a bit later, and I did not get to see this powerful goddess in all her decorated glory.

My next intended stop was the ancient Chola monument at Gangaikonda Cholapuram. Built by the son of the Raja Raja Cholan, this temple, although smaller than the Big Temple at Tanjore, is nonetheless considered to be a national heritage site.

However, we lost valuable time trying to locate the exact route to take and when we did find the road, there was a huge blockade by protesting villagers. As it was already mid-afternoon, I abandoned the idea of visiting this temple and proceeded onwards to my hotel at Kumbakonam. It had been my intention to use Kumbakonam as a base to explore the region. I had rejected the idea of staying at Tirukkadaiyur (with the Nemili family), because I didn’t think the hotels in that village were comfortable. However, the hotel I had picked out in Kumbakonam, Le Garden, did not really live up to my expectations. However, due to lack of any alternative accomodation, I decided to stay there for the scheduled two nights.

After some lunch and a short rest, I departed for Thirukkadaiyur since I had agreed to meet the family at the temple by six p.m. En route, I intended to visit Tirukarukaavur to obtain darshan of Goddess Garbarakshambikkai ( the Goddess who protects the womb and blesses childless couples). However, we soon discovered that visiting this temple involved a considerable detour and decided to see it the following morning instead.

On the way to Tirukkadaiyur, we did manage to pass quickly by Thirumananjeri. The temple here attracts a lot of pilgrims since the legend goes that unmarried men and women whose marriages are getting postponed will soon find their life partners, if they pray at this sacred spot where Lord Shiva married Parvathi!

That evening, this temple was thronged with young boys, girls and their families. The temple shop was doing a brisk business selling baskets filled with puja materials. I watched, fascinated, as a slow moving line of youngsters purchased these kits and then went to sit in a cordoned off area. The priests soon appeared and carried out a mass puja, screaming out the names, birth stars and gothrams of each of these young hopefuls waiting to get married.
I craned my neck to get a good view of the main sanctum.

The idol of Lord Shiva standing near a rather shy Parvati, as bride, is a rare and beautiful sculpture. I left hurriedly, just as a priest pressed me to buy a basket of puja materials, so I could take my place in the queue!

I reached Tirukkadaiyur just before six o clock. We drove by the hotel where the family from Nemili were put up and after paying my respects to Sri Ezhilmani and his wife,I proceeded to the temple directly, hoping (once again), to have a darshan before their group arrived.

Again, that “little voice” repeated I should wait for them. But I did not listen to it!
As I got down from the car at the temple, four buses drew up and to my dismay, hordes of school girls descended!
There was no point trying to go inside the sanctum now as I would definitely be jostled by this crowd.
I sat in the prakaram outside the main sannidhi waiting for the chattering girls to file past.
Half an hour must have elapsed before I was able to step inside the temple and just as I prepared to go inside, Sri Ezhilmani and his family arrived.

It was obvious to me by now that I should not have made any plans to just take off and visit temples on my own. This visit was in honour of Sri Ezhilmani. Bala was bringing her favorite son to all the temples to bless him on his birthday. That explained why I had been unable to proceed too far with my own plans.

I had foolishly planned to leave Tirukkadaiyur within half an hour of my arrival that evening in order to get a glimpse of Goddess Saraswathi at Koothanur, nearby.

However, this plan too had to be abandoned. It was eight in the evening before I was able to leave Trukkadaiyur. Bala parayanam members , including myself, sat in the temple precincts and sang a new song written by Babaji. This song was a vote of “thanks” to Bala for her unseen hand guiding us through a myriad of difficulties in life.
Babaji distributed a small pamphlet with the words of the song printed in it.

As I turned the book over, on the back cover, right at the bottom, I spotted the words
“ With thanks from Uma Shiv Kumar”.
Somehow, it seemed to indicate that I had perhaps not exhibited sufficient gratitude to Bala.

I discarded all my pre arranged plans for the next day. Instead, I enquired about the schedule for the Nemili family. I decided to meet them at Tirumeeyachur the following morning.

It was a long drive back to Kumbakonam for the night. I could not really get a good night’s sleep and we had an early start next morning.
The next morning, I just wanted to go to Tirumeeyachur. However, my driver pointed out that Tirukarukavur was on the way, so suggested we visit this temple first!

I should have known better about Bala!!
The bridge across the river, leading to the temple of Garbarakshambikai was in a state of disrepair. Villagers nearby told us we could walk up easily and that it was a short distance.
Well, it took us longer than expected to reach the temple. When we arrived, the gates were shut. After a long wait, a priest came in and we walked into the sanctum of the goddess.
Diversion to this temple had cost us valuable time and I hoped we would be able to reach Tirumeeyachur on time
I prayed sincerely to Bala and asked her forgiveness. I hadn’t understood the reason for all the delays and thwarted plans! Surely, I had done nothing wrong?
The answer was simple. “Sri Ezhilmani appears as a simple, humble person. However his true capabilities and powers are concealed cleverly by Bala, so that even he is unaware of his own divinity. Travelling with him is an unique opportunity. You do not realize the true significance of this rare chance”.

This was proved very true!

Walking with Sri Ezhilmani inside the temple at Tirumeeyachur seemed more magical compared with previous trips I had taken by myself. The whole atmosphere was charged with an unseen force.
Witnessing the Abhishekam of the supreme goddess, Raja Rajeshwari, singing Bala’s songs in the sanctum and just participating in this temple event along with the family was truly uplifting!
I shall never forget that experience!

We visited Koothanur that morning as well, to pay homage to the Goddess of learning. It was very crowded inside the temple, in sharp contrast to my earlier visit last year. However, I was able to stand on a bench by the entrance and get a good darshan.
The group proceeded then proceeded to yet another temple nearby enshrining the very first, or “Aadhi Vinayakar”.

Situated in a sleepy village called Thilatharpanapuri, this temple houses the rare image of Vinayaka with a human head!
Nearby, is a larger temple for Lord Shiva as Muktheeswarar. In the prakaram of this temple is an interesting sculpture showing Lord Rama doing puja for a Shiva Lingam. The legend says that on his way back from Sri Lanka, Lord Rama stopped at this place to perform rites for the soul of his departed father.

Following a wonderful darshan at this temple, I took leave of Sri Ezhilmani and his family. They were returning home, while I pressed on to visit a few more sacred temples.

The Healing Mother at Velankanni Church ( near Nagapattinam), had always been on my wish list of temples to visit. Although a centre of Christian worship, the main deity here, a form of Virgin Mary bearing the infant Jesus in her arms, is, in my opinion, no different from the many forms of Shakthi in Hindu worship.

Vedaranyam, my next stop, houses a very important Shaivaite temple. One of the SaptaVitanka Shetrams, this famous temple has been visited by innumerable saints and glorified in sacred hymns.

It was from this spot, near the sea, that Lord Rama initially wished to build the bridge across to Sri Lanka prior to his battle with the demon Ravana.
However, Lord Shiva instructed Lord Rama to, instead, construct the bridge from Rameshwaram ( further south, along the sea coast).
It is believed that Lord Rama worshipped Shiva at this spot on his return to Ayodhya.

The drive from Vedaranyam down to Cape Calimere or Koddikkarai opens up a splendid vista of the low lying coastal area, famous for its mangrove swamps, wetlands and evergreen forests.
Point Calimere is renowned for its scenic beauty and is a sanctuary for migratory birds.
Deeply associated with legends from the Ramayana, there is a raised overlook point where Lord Rama is supposed to have stood , gazing at Sri Lanka, about 40 kilometres away. ‘Rama’s Feet or “Padam”, have been preserved on this hill top shrine.

The famous temple of Lord Krishna as Rajagopalaswami, at Mannargudi was yet another sacred spot I was fortunate to see on this trip.

After visiting the famous temples in the city of Kumbakonam, Lord Ramaswamy temple and Chakrapani temple, I ended my temple tour by visiting the magnificent remains of the Chola legacy at Gangai Konda Cholapuram.

I couldn’t help remembering all the foiled attempts to visit this and other temples during the past two days. In sharp contrast, I received a good darshan, now that Sri Ezhilmani’s birthday had been celebrated and the family had departed!

During the next three months I had a splendid opportunity to visit many, many, more temples in the states of Andhra, TamilNadu and Kerala.
The Kanakadurga temple in Andhra Pradesh is a popular and powerful Shakthi Peetam. Here, the great Goddess stands defiantly with weapons in all her eight arms, trampling underfoot, the demon Mahishasuran, piercing him with her sharp trident!

I revisited the holy abode of the Lord of Tirumala several time during this period . And there were some repeat visits to Darasuram ( near Kumbakonam), to receive the blessings of Lord Sarabeswara ,Anthamangalam , famous for its powerful Anjaneya and Tirunallaru to obtain the darshan of Lord Saturn.

Closer to Chennai I made frequent day trips covering a lot of famous temples nearby. Among these:
The Golden temple at Vellore, is an opulent temple set amidst hundred acres of beautifully landscaped gardens. Yet, I found this peaceful and tranquil abode of Mahalakshmi, completely devoid of spirituality. The temple seemed liked something out of an expensive studio set and the shops and restaurants nearby gave it the appearance of a theme park.

The Rathnagiri BalaMurugan temple, is set on the top of a hillock near Vellore.
The temple is an imposing structure built several decades ago. The resident Sage at this temple is a silent man called “Bala Murugan Adimai” who was responsible for founding this temple complex for his favorite Lord Skanda.

Bala Murugan Adimai has not spoken for nearly thirty years. People come to him with their problems and he writes down answers for a small fee!

Vallimalai is another lovely hill-top shrine for Lord Muruga.
I had an especially wonderful experience during this visit which I am happy to share with everyone.

The first reason was that there was a tiny, bronze image of Bala that I had to return to the Peetam. The second was Bala’s summons to see an elderly aunt of mine.

The story behind the small bronze image of Bala is as follows. Just before the wedding, I received a gift from one of my mother’s cousins. Apparently this lady was a devotee of Bala Tripurasundari, (but not connected with Nemili Bala peetam). When she saw the image of Bala printed on my daughter’s wedding invitation, she decided to gift me a small statue of Bala that she had in her house. Apparently, this lady had placed an order at a local brassware shop for one small idol of Bala to keep and worship in her puja room. However, the shopkeeper made two of them. So, she decided to keep one and gift me the other. She sent the image to my home in Chennai, as she was unable to attend the wedding.

I received this idol with great delight. Here was Bala seated on her lotus pedestal, a young girl with smiling eyes and a long braid of hair thrown over her left shoulder.
I took the small statue into my Puja room and placed it near the portrait of Bala. Almost instantaneously, I received a directive. “Take this figure of mine to the Peetam. Don’t keep it in your Puja room”.

I was puzzled. However, I took this image away from the Puja room and left it on an undisturbed corner of the kitchen counter, meaning to take it in to the peetam on my next trip.

This episode occurred in November, 2007. Since then, I made innumerable visits to Nemili. However, every single time, I kept forgetting to take this statue with me.

On the Thursday of the third week in Thai, as I did my usual prayers to Bala, I received strong mental suggestions to pick up the phone and call my aunt. Now, this lady is extremely pious and had in fact called me up after the wedding was over, requesting me to take her to Nemili on one of my visits. Somehow, I had been unable to do so.

Today, I picked up the phone and dialed her number. As soon as she came on the line, I knew something was wrong. Her mood and tone indicated sadness. There were many problems in her household. Her grandson’s wedding wasn’t getting fixed despite many efforts over the past year. Also, there were some health problems faced by members of her family.
Hearing her dejected voice, I said “Why don’t you come with me to Nemili tomorrow?”
I’m going there anyway because I have been translating some of Babaji’s writings into English and I have to give him the documents. Do come with me!”

My Aunt agreed without a moment’s hesitation to accompany me.

The following afternoon, I set off with my aunt, armed with the copies of the translated work for Babaji. I got inside the car, ready to leave, when I just remembered there was no water bottle inside. I quickly dashed into the Kitchen and then saw the little idol of Bala sitting patiently by the Kitchen Sink, waiting to be taken to Nemili!

Soon, my aunt and I reached Sri Bala Peetam. It was around 5 p.m. on that Friday, the third and most important ‘Thai Velli”.
I introduced my aunt to Sri Ezhilmani and his wife. We listened to a few songs of Bala, seated by the peetam. Sri Ezhilmani gave his usual speech that he reserves for newcomers.
When he said the usual bit about how “all Kumba Raasi people must come to the peetam”, my aunt burst into tears. Apparently, she belonged to this minority!
It was obvious that my aunt was completely overwhelmed. She sat there in front of Bala, weeping like a small child. Fortunately, there were absolutely no visitors on that day and she had a free audience with Sri Ezhilmani. She related her problems to him and asked him to bless her.
Sri Ezhilmani gave her prasadam and told her in a reassuring manner that her grandson’s wedding would be fixed very quickly, that people suffering from ill health in her family would make a speedy recovery, and that the patter of tiny feet would be soon heard for those in the family who were childless.

Before leaving the peetam, I bought a few CDs for my aunt. I thought she might enjoy listening to Bala’s songs. I also got her a Bala parayanam book.

I almost forgot, again, that little idol of Bala I had hastily stuffed into my handbag. I brought it out hesitantly and told Sri Ezhilmani its little story and how I had been instructed to bring it to the peetam.
There was huge smile on Sri Ezhilmani’s face. Before he could say anything, Baby Amma walked in, saw the tiny idol, and exclaimed, “Oh, I’ve always wanted to have a small Utsava Murthy for Bala.” Sri Ezhilmani remarked that this was the best gift for his birthday!
Both of them repeated that it was an auspicious day to bring this image in.

Once again, I continued to stand in awe, a mere onlooker , witnessing the many miracles performed by this supreme Goddess, within whom all Gods reside!

Returning home, I prayed to Bala that my aunt’s family should find relief from their problems.

Hardly a week passed before I received the news that my aunt’s grandson’s wedding had been fixed. Also, from the relief I could hear in her voice, I knew that most of her problems were on the mend.
I thanked Bala sincerely, from the bottom of my heart.

Following this visit, I made two more trips to Nemili taking a few of my cousins to receive Bala’s grace. One cousin was desperate to get her daughter’s wedding fixed. Sri Ezhilmani’s reply was characteristic. “Fix up your wedding mandapam. Bala will find you a suitable groom”.
Within two months of this visit, I am happy to write that this child’s marriage has also been fixed!

There was yet another incident where my husband’s aunt had come in from Kolkata to Chennai for an eye operation. I went to meet her before the operation and found her very tense. Reaching into my handbag, I took out a small photo of Bala and gave it to her along with kumkum prasadam. I told her I would pray to Bala for her , on the day of the operation.

A few days later, this aunt called me and said that it was surely Bala who had helped her and given her the confidence to go through a tricky surgery.!

Sri Ezhilmani always says” Bala will treat you with just the same amount of love and affection you show to her”.
This is so true.

My life has been taken over completely by Bala. I don’t think there can be a moment when I’m not either thinking of her or remembering her family, or going over all those extraordinary experiences. If I write these lines today, they are at Her command.
Last night I thought to myself “ Who is going to read this blog-diary?”

I don’t know the answer. Perhaps Bala does.

However, I can state this firmly. Regardless of how many, or how few people have read these writings, I’m happy, because I have fulfilled what this divine child has asked me to do.

The nine Nrisimhas ( half lion- half-man ,incarnation of Lord Vishnu) of Ahobilam, are part of the holy 108 Divya Desams, or Divine abodes, of Lord Vishnu and is the seat of the Ahobilam Mutt.
There are many legends associated with Lord Nrisimha’s incarnation and the nine forms he has manifested here, in the heart of the Vedatri mountains.
The Ugra Stambam ( literally meaning, fierce pillar), is a giant column of rock at the very summit of this mountain. According to legend, Lord Vishnu burst forth from this pillar, in answer to his devotee Prahlada’s prayers and killed the latter’s demon father, Hiranyakasipu.

In fact, the entire mountain range is considered to have constituted the palace of the demon king. There are many caves situated in these mountains that contain self- manifested idols of Lord Vishnu as Narasimha. It is considered very auspicious if a devotee manages to obtain a darshan of all nine shrines to Lord Nrisimha in the same day.

This is quite a feat of physical stamina, as many of the shrines are inside inaccessible caves, and reaching them involves a fair bit of trekking and climbing through remote areas of the Nallamala forest range.
The hills forming the mountain range are considered very auspicious as well. They personify Lord Vishnu’s serpent, Adisesha, whose head constitutes the sacred seven hills of Tirumala; the middle , these hills at Ahobilam and whose tail portion form the physical landscape at SriSailam( another consecrated spot).

I was fortunate to visit all the nine sacred shrines for Lord Nrisimha in just one day!

The first shrine visited was that of Kroda Nrisimhar. This “angry” form of the Lord is situated inside a tiny cave. Here he is seen in his “boar” incarnation, rescuing mother earth, personified as a goddess , on his protruding tusks.

“Jwala” means fire, and the shrine for Jwala Narasimhar sees the Lord at the height of his fury, tearing the flesh of his enemy, the demon, Hiranya.

As Malola Narasimhar, the Lord is more peaceful and is seen alongside his beloved consort Lakshmi, in sharp contrast to his “Ugra” or fierce form in the sanctum at Upper Ahobilam. It is said that this temple for Ahobilam Narasimhar, is the earliest of all the nine temples. Set inside a cave at the foot of the sacred hills, Lord Narasimha is seated with the demon, Hiranya, on his lap.
Legend goes that Aadi Shankara, the founder of Advaita, sang his famous “ Lakshmi Karavalamba Stotram” at this spot after his hand that had been cut off by demons was cured miraculously. It was also here that Garuda, the eagle mount of Lord Vishnu, obtained a darshan of the lord in his terrifying form of Lord Nrisimha.

The shrine for Karanja Narasimha is famous since it was here that Hanuman did penance to get a glimpse of his Lord Rama. So, Lord Narasimha at this shrine carries a bow and arrow in his hand to symbolize the presence of Rama and is seen under the canopy provided by his serpent, Adi Sesha. There is a shrine to the devout Hanuman here, directly facing the sanctum of the Lord.

Pavana Nrisimhar’s shrine is set deep inside the Garudatri forest lined with bamboo and teak trees. It is believed that the sight of the Lord seated with Senju Lakshmi, his consort, will dissolve all sins. “Senju” refers to the tribespeople who lived in these mountains and the story goes that Lord Vishnu married a girl from this sect in order to extend his blessings to them.

Bargava Narasimhar’s shrine is set on top of another hillock. It is said that Bhargava or Lord Parasumrama did penance here to get a sight of Lord Vishnu in his fierce form as Nrisimhar. So, the Lord gave Bargava a splendid darshan at this spot, including a vision of all his ten incarnations!

As Chatravad Nrisimhar, the Lord is seen in a happy mood enjoying the music of two divine singers, Aaha and Uuhu. With a smile on his lips, here is a peaceful Lord!

Yogananda Narasimhar is seen seated in a yogic pose. It is said that Lord Vishnu taught Yoga to his devotee Prahlada, at this spot.

The tenth temple for Lord Narasimha is located in Lower Ahobilam and here the Lord gives darshan as Lakshmi Nrisimhar, with Mother Lakshmi seated on his lap. This is a huge temple with magnificent stone sculptures and a seven tiered gopuram.

I was indeed extremely lucky to have the opportunity to do this trip. I had been a bit concerned about being able to climb over rocky terrain and manage the steep ascent upto the hill- top cave- shrines. However, just before our group started out, I prayed to Bala and read her Andadi. There is no doubt that She heard my prayers!

Upon my return to Chennai, I got the painting of Bala framed and it was on the second auspicious Friday, in the month of “Thai” ( January 25th), that this was delivered to Sri Bala Peetam at Nemili. I had intended to take it on February 3rd for Sri Ezhilmani’s birthday. However, as always, Bala’s plans were different!.

I was destined to make one more trip to Nemili, the very next week, on a Friday as well. There seemed to be two reasons for this, which I realized much later, of course.

The new year (2008) started for me with yet another visit to Nemili. There were a few wedding related events coming up on the 2nd and 3rd of January and I drew strength from the members of Nemili Peetam.

The actual wedding day dawned. The first message on my cell phone was from Babaji.
It read (translated from Tamil):

Not only on this day, for this function, but for all the events in your family, Bala and her Family will be with you!

Sri Ezhilmani and his guests from Nemili, including members of the Bala Parayanam group were expected to arrive at the wedding hall around 9.30 a.m. I had made arrangements for everything to be in place to receive my honoured guests with respect.

However, just as my husband and I went out to stand at the entrance of the wedding hall, the heavens opened and it started to pour with rain. This was no slight drizzle, but a deafening downpour. People standing near me commented with amazement “ Who has ever heard of rain during the month of Margazhi? It’s just not the time of year for rains!”

As if blessed by a divine downpour, the convoy of cars from Nemili soon arrived.
It was also truly a miracle that the rain ceased completely the minute that this blessed family walked in!

My husband and I garlanded Sri Ezhilmani and his wife as they stepped off the car. An arathi was done and we welcomed all the members of his family inside the wedding hall and took them in for breakfast.

As he walked inside Sri Ezhilmani commented, “Bala has certainly made sure that this wedding will be different. She sent her blessings by causing that sharp, downpour.
“See”, he gestured outside, “It has completely stopped raining”.

I must have been in a state of nervous excitement that day, because at that time, I didn’t comprehend the full import of his sayings.
Writing about all these happenings today, nearly six months later, I realize only now the magnitude of the task accomplished by Bala to see this wedding through!

The wedding day would have been completely ruined if it had rained incessantly that morning.

Meanwhile, the pre- muhurtham functions had started. The bride and groom were now seated on a flower bedecked swing and customary rituals were being carried out.
Soon the members of Sri Bala Peetam congregated in the wedding hall and started the Parayanam.
It was a moment of true happiness. It was as if my dream had actually come true. Many were the nights I had prayed to Bala that the only music I should hear at the wedding must be Her songs. And this request had been granted.

While the parayanam was in progress, I remained on the dais along with the bride, groom and my husband as there were a few more rites to be performed. When the parayanam ended, we requested Sri Ezhilmani and his wife to come up on the stage. A large poster with a beautiful image of Bala was held up and Sri Ezhilmani himself did the Arathi , while all of us sang in chorus :
Ulagathai Kaakkum Oru Baala,
Nemili Nagar Aalum Arul Baala”

( Hail to Bala who protects the world and rules at Nemili).

Following this, Sri Ezhilmani and his wife blessed the “thirumangalyam” and the wedding saree. Both bride and groom did a Namaskaram to this revered couple, and my daughter then walked into the adjoining room to change into the traditional nine-yards saree.

Now, according to the planned schedule, my assumption, as well as the intention of Sri Ezhilmani , was that he and his wife would bless the couple after the “thali” was tied.

Somehow, that morning, the unseen force (Bala) guided the events. The “parayanam” had started off a bit later than planned. Sri Ezhilmani made a short introductory speech on the stage. The arathi ceremony was conducted and presents were handed over by him to the couple. Then, Sri Ezhilmani and his wife blessed both the “thaali” , wedding saree , and the couple “before” the actual muhurtham or tying of “the knot”.

I tried not to glance at our family priest. I realized that the little happening on the stage had caused a bit of delay in the proceedings and the Muhurtham time that had been fixed at “just past 12 p.m.” had already passed. I could see that the priest was a bit nervous and kept looking at his watch. However, things could not be hurried. It was Bala who had the last say that morning.

It was past 12.15 p.m. by the time my daughter emerged in her nine- yards saree. Some more time elapsed while the groom performed a few essential rites. It was a full half-hour later than the prescribed time that the groom finally married my daughter by tying the “thaali” that had been blessed by Bala and her family.

As I stood on the stage looking down at the assembled crowd, I noted with happiness that every single member of Sri Ezhilmani’s extended family had come down to attend this function. Right from Great Grandma (Baby Amma’s mother), down to the tiniest babe in arms were present. Baby Amma informed me that their house in Nemili was fully locked up, with not a single person left behind!

As far as I was concerned, this was Bala’s day. Every single incident that had preceded the wedding and those that had occurred during the wedding had been fully known to her and blessed by her. Events had been turned around; help and support had been extended from unexpected quarters and most importantly, the actual marriage ceremony had proceeded smoothly with no undue obstacles.

I stayed by Sri Ezhilmani’s side as the family sat down for the luncheon feast. It was only after the entire family had been shown due respect , given Tamboolam, and had departed, that I left to attend other duties.

Looking at the happy faces of my daughter and son-in-law, I thanked Bala sincerely from the bottom of my heart.
I recollected a line from one of Babaji’s songs :

“Naan Ninaikindren, nee muddikkindrai
Naan azhuginren, nee sirrikinrai
Vazhve nee thaan
Ninaithidum nigazchikal
Nighaznthidum vazhvile”

Translated:

I think (of events) You bring them(thoughts) to fruition,
I cry, (while) you smile,
(my) Life consists of only You,
Actions (I) dream of,
Are accomplished (by You) in (my) Life.

The event Bala had planned and executed was over and shortly thereafter, my daughter and her husband departed back to the U.S. My husband left for London and I stayed on in Chennai.

For quite some time before the wedding, I had been thinking of doing another painting of Bala. However, I needed a divine command before I could proceed, and this had occurred on my visit to the Peetam on New Year’s day, just before the wedding.
I was to draw a large portrait of this young child- goddess seated on a lotus, similar to the painting I had given to the temple at Rochester. This was the persistent thought in my mind on New Year’s day at the Peetam. I was being commanded to paint a large image of a seated child- Goddess.

It was my intention to finish this portrait in time for Sri Ezhilmani’s 70th birthday on February 3rd, 2008.

Soon after my guests had departed, around the 8th of January, I bought all the painting materials and drawing paper. However, though I tried as hard as I could for two days, I could not draw a single line. I prostrated at the feet of Sri Ezhilmani and asked him for his blessings. He said in his usual casual manner: “I’m sure you will draw a beautiful portrait of Bala. She is always with you”.
I went back home that day and called a few members of the Bala Parayanam group who had supported me immensely during the wedding. This time, I requested them to pray that I could successfully complete this new task.
Then I set to work.

As I normally do, while drawing portraits, I listened to Bala’s songs on the numerous CDs as well as to Babaji’s speeches and the Golden words of Wisdom he had compiled.
The days sped by quickly and very soon, the pencil drawing was finished. Bala’s eyes proved to be the most difficult to draw and I beseeched her constantly to allow me to represent her in all her glory. Almost , at the very moment I had finally finished penciling in her eyes, the phone rang and one of my friends from the peetam asked me if I had just finished the drawing. She called me at that very moment, since she had received repeated mental messages from Bala telling her the picture was done.

I took this as a cue not to alter anything in the drawing and started to paint the image.
Within a week’s time, I had finished this painting. Next, I had to decorate Bala with diamonds, rubies and emeralds!
I did this enjoyable work with love and gratitude in my heart, paying great care and attention. When I had finished this entire work, I carefully lifted the cardboard on which it was done and propped it up against the wall, so that I could step back and get a good look.

To my utmost astonishment, it appeared as if Bala looked “angry”. The expression in her eyes were stern and not at all the peaceful look I thought I had projected!

There was nothing I could do to alter the eyes at this late stage. For a few moments, I just sat down and meditated on Bala “Please help me” was all I could manage to say!

I decided to visit a few nearby temples and get out of the house for a while. “Perhaps”, I thought to myself, “I’ve been sitting with the painting for so many days, I have lost my sense of judgment”.

I went out for a couple of hours that evening, leaving the finished painting lying on the large dining table.

I came back, feeling more at peace with myself. I hastened to the dining table to look at my painting again.
What I perceived was extraordinary. Gone was that look of anger in Bala’s eyes. Instead, here was a young child, smiling calmly at me, with a twinkle in her eyes!

I stared at the portrait again . There was absolutely no trace of fierceness or anger in Bala’s eyes! I could not understand what happened . Surely, I hadn’t been mistaken before?

In any case, there appeared to be no explanations and I went to bed that night, puzzled yet relieved that the painting had come out well in the end.

The painting was ready to be framed. However, during the next few days, I had the opportunity to make an interesting pilgrimage to visit the Nava ( nine) Narasimhars at Ahobilam in Andhra Pradesh.

The month of December passed by quickly and although I was busy with the many tasks associated with the wedding, I traveled to Nemili very often during this period.

Many were the challenges I faced in this month. There were tensions within the family as well as financial problems. However, each minor difficulty was smoothed out by Bala, almost miraculously. One day, I was feeling a bit low as this wedding was draining quite a sizeable chunk of my reserves. I happened to visit Nemili that day and sat in front of Baala trying to gain strength from her.
I hadn’t mentioned anything to Sri Ezhilmani or his family about my problems.

Just as I was leaving, Baby Amma gave me a few rupees and a coin with Bala’s image on one side and the Sri Chakra on the reverse.
“ Keep this money in your safe and don’t spend it”, she said.

The very same evening, help came from a close family member. Bala made sure that from that day onwards, all wedding preparations and expenses associated with it were completely taken care of. It was just like She had said: “ I am performing this wedding. You just have to come and enjoy it”.

While family tensions remained, I remembered Sri Ezhilmani’s advice to me on November 4th and tried to overlook them. In this regard, devotees of Bala gave me lots of encouragement . It was almost as if Bala had magically materialized a whole family to provide me support and friends to give me good and timely advice.

In particular there was one lady devotee who had the uncanny knack of calling me on my cell phone, whenever I was under stress. The act of just talking to her about Bala would immediately make me feel stronger and mentally refreshed.

One evening, just as my husband and I were preparing to go over to my sibling’s house to invite his family personally for the wedding ( as is the normal custom), this friend called me and said “ Please take care. Whatever is inside will surely come out”.

I had no idea what she talking about! However, I decided to stay calm and not react to adverse situations.

Later, that evening, after a particularly unpleasant episode at my mother’s house, where a lot of pent up anger was directed at my husband and myself, I realized the importance of her statement. I called this Bala devotee and asked her why she had said those words to me. She didn’t know. “I only repeated what suddenly occurred to me”, she said.

In the few days left before the wedding, I found myself bereft of the support of the bulk of my immediate family. However, one sibling stood by my side and gave me the courage to carry on. This, too was Bala’s plan!

She had foreseen all these unpleasant events way back in November which explained why her son, Sri Ezhilmani , had given me her command “ Don’t rock the boat. Stay unperturbed and don’t be goaded by family members into any fights”.

It was too late now. Bala was the only family left for me!

There was ashort period of time when these unpleasant events made me feel very depressed. I continued to blame myself, even though I had been a victim of abuse.
My confidence was sapped and I chastised myself for allowing situations to explode out of control.

Babaji and Baby Amma both bolstered my confidence. “Bala loves you and has accepted you as her family. If you are indeed a really bad person as your family makes you out to be, you can be sure we will not stand near you. Or rather, Bala will never allow us to help you. No one who is bad inside can paint so many portraits of deities perfectly. Don’t forget, Bala would never have accepted anything from you if you had been a hypocrite”!

These words of support did go a long way to remove my own fears and self doubt. Shaking off my worries, I focused on Bala and continually sought her support to make me a better person.

Amidst all these family problems that mentally taxed me, it seemed that the wedding preparations were sailing forward, guided by a divine power. Whatever obstacles I encountered were solved quickly.

The Muhurtham for my daughter’s wedding was scheduled for just after 12 p.m. on January 4th. This was a Friday and most practicing Hindus do know that Raahu Kaalam (inauspicious interval) on a Friday is between 10.30 a.m. and 12 p.m.
However, according to Bala, “Raahu Kaalam, Yama Gandam, parpathellaam Veenae; Balavai ninaikum Naal, Nalla Naal”.

(It is unnecessary to be concerned about either Raahu Kaalam or Yama Gandam; inauspicious times; whenever you think of Bala it’s a good time, and a good day).

However, I ran into a lot of problems trying to convince people that the actual time of wedding didn’t really matter as Bala would be present.
The lady who was in charge of printing the wedding invitations looked at me strangely when I said this “ Don’t you care for your daughter’s welfare?”, she said “ When will you start the Kaasi Yaathirai? If you start this at just before Rahu Kalam, there will be huge gap in time before the Thaali is tied after 12 noon. None of your guests will sit around for this long. Please rethink the timings to be printed on the invitation”.

I appealed to Bala silently. She gave me the answer. “Fix a Bala Parayanam for the time-gap” . I contacted Sri Ezhilmani and this was soon arranged. The people attending the wedding could wait whilst listening to the lovely songs sung by the Bala Parayanam members!

My daughter arrived a week before the wedding. However, on the day she arrived, there was a Bala Parayanam at Kancheepuram and I had to attend it. There was a lot of opposition from my family. “ How can you go to attend some group singing , miles away in Kancheepuram today? Don’t you have to be at home to greet your daughter?”.
My daughter did not really mind and understood my decision.

It was as if Baala was testing me at every step, observing my reaction to situations. Every single time, I chose Bala first, and demoted all other matters to secondary importance.

Baby Amma had given a lovely saree for my daughter. The day after her arrival, my daughter wore this saree and we traveled up to Nemili . I wanted her to receive the blessings from this family. I made my daughter pay her respects to the entire family. Just as she did namaskaram for Babaji, he remarked “ I have known her, perhaps in a previous birth. I feel, I know your daughter more closely than I know you!”.

For my part , I felt my daughter was truly blessed as she was lucky to have Bala and her entire family “perform” her wedding.

I also slowly started to really understand various members of Bala’s family. I often spoke to the Guru, “Babaji” on the phone, and marveled at his poetic ability and his analytical mind that found instant solutions to most problems. The path he follows is a very simple one. He believes that complete devotion and unquestioning faith in Bala will surely solve all problems in Life. Bala reaches out to Her family through “Babaji”. He merely follows her instructions and transforms Her ideas and thoughts into beautiful songs and Divine words of Grace.

Babaji writes about the excessive use of rituals in worship and questions the necessity to travel to many temples, when all deities are just the same and all paths necessarily lead to Bala. Vedanta espouses the same truth. God is everywhere and within you. Learn to treat everyone with the same attention and care you give yourself: then you attain unity with the One and Only Brahman.

There is no difference between the “Brahman” or truth espoused in the Vedas and that of Bala.

Love should be, and must be, the overriding principle in our interaction with people. Babaji addresses various social problems and conflicts that might arise in this vast ocean of Samsara (life) and tries to rectify them through the songs that Bala commands him to write.

Most importantly, he exhorts his followers to pray for the welfare of others and indeed for the nation’s welfare through participation in group prayers instead of visiting temples and praying selfishly only for the welfare and prosperity of one’s immediate family circle.

Babaji’s path is a different one. It is a path that has not been previously traveled by most wise saints and sages of the past. In fact, he does not see the necessity to escape into an ashram or become a sanyasi. Instead, he advocates householders to solve problems through love, compassion, understanding and communication. He emphasizes the fact that merely following rituals prescribed by our Vedas and scriptures and reciting a lot of Sanskrit prayers may never really help one achieve peace of mind, unless the attitude of a person is altered for the better. One might be called extremely “religious” because he goes to many temples, performs yagams or homams. However, if this person remains selfish and unhelpful to society at large, then in no way can he either achieve peace of mind or lead a fulfilling life.

Babaji also takes a sharp dig at many people who have used religion in a commercial manner to earn fame , money and a wide following. He is totally averse to dependence on astrologers who claim to predict one’s future or Swamijis who declare they can solve problems for a fee. Although several hugely, famous personalities have used religion to channel money for useful purposes, Babaji’s answer is: “ Let business leaders who are philanthrophists build schools and hospitals. Why should Holy men accept money from various people and build mega hospitals and education centres in their names? Religious personalities should just focus on spreading the values of the faith and should not become money-minded businessmen”.

For Babaji, writing songs and remaining an intermediary between Bala and the rest of the world is his vocation in Life. He does this job admirably, and his songs relate the values and proper conduct we should all uphold in order to become exemplary citizens.

He sincerely believes that singing or reciting Bala’s songs is enough to find panacea for most problems.

Babaji claims that Bala’s songs are more powerful than the mantras and slokas prescribed in our scriptures. While many learned Gurus and Swamijis are no doubt experts in various fields of our Shastras and Vedas and are able to memorise and recite difficult passages from them, explain them lucidly, or prescribe rituals as remedies for various problems in Life, Babaji’s path is completely the opposite. He has not delved into the past to find answers for the present. He has not handed over to us information that is at best second-hand (since our scriptures and Vedas have been handed down through generations and are not really original thought by a new sage or philosopher).
Babaji, on the other hand has directly given his flock some original ways of dealing with difficult situations.

He writes songs for specific problems. For ill health, Bala has dictated a song; for gaining learning skills and education, there is yet another poem, and so on: for getting married; begetting healthy children; to reduce debt; to prevent anxieties… the list is endless.

Babaji claims that all these songs are like powerful weapons. “I have given people the choice to use these songs to remedy their problems. I am unlike the money-minded yogis and gurus you see, who keep certain mantras and Sidhis just to themselves and claim to help people solve their problems for a hefty fee. These people are merely seeking fame and fortune while trying to increase their powers through well- guarded and secret mantras . I do not claim to own the songs that Bala makes me write. Instead, I freely hand them out to people by way of Deekshai, with the only caveat that they should use these songs for the benefit and welfare of other people”.

Babaji insists that we should pray sincerely for other people instead of focusing narrowly only on our self- interests. He says: “When you pray for others, your problems will automatically be solved by Bala. Don’t always think about the end results. Just accept the final outcome as Bala’s gift to you. That is what constitutes sincere prayer”.

Babaji has published numerous songs, books and wise sayings, all of which contain extremely lofty and significant ideas couched in a very simple and elegant poetic style. Written mostly in Tamil, these songs have been set to music and sung sensitively by Bala’s hand-picked singers, Sudha Anand and M. Madhu.

Babaji explains, “While most Sanskrit slokas in praise of deities are just that, i.e. a litany of tributes to a particular God, Bala’s songs are different. They reach out and change a human being from the inside. They point out mistakes people commonly make and ask them to change their bad habits. By doing this and forcing people to think and mend their ways, an individual, family, community, village or even an entire nation can be transformed”.

Listening to Bala’s songs, understanding them and implementing the good values in day to day life is what devotion to Bala is all about. Many are the people who come to Bala carrying their load of problems. Some might find a solution. However, Bhakthi or faith in Bala involves increasing one’s tolerance to pain and trying not to view a problem or a bad situation as such.
Bala certainly improves a person’s self confidenc and mental strength so that while problems may never disappear, a person’s tolerance and endurance can increase. The “problem” dissolves in the “mind” of the affected individual and ceases to bother him any more!

The CDs, books and other publications are sold at the Peetam and are the only source of revenue for the Peetam, apart from contributions some devotees make for Anna Dhanam (food donation).
In fact, the major difference between Sri Bala Peetam and any other religious institution is the fact that no one is pressed to make a donation. There are no vows taken here as is usually the case at other temples whereby, after a successful result, either cash or donations in kind are “gifted” to the deity.

Sri Ezhilmani is quite strict about taking in money unnecessarily. ‘Bala is a “prestige girl”, he remarks very often. “She gets very annoyed if you bribe her!”

Bala is a child goddess that no one can comprehend easily. If you think you know her fully, you will discover many tests awaiting you! This is what I have learned in my limited years of experience.

Bala stamps out personal ego. You can never say you are very “close” to her. You just experience and get to know her over a long period of time until you are totally and inseparably one with her.

A lot of people may not be able to understand what I am writing. Perhaps a few can. It’s just important to state here that Bala will accept you just as you are if you love her wholeheartedly. Don’t worry about your shortcomings. They are irrelevant and will be dissolved in the love that you show her. When Bala truly “accepts” you, She will surely set you on the path to becoming a reformed person.

My whole world now revolved around Bala. In fact, I was totally dependent on this child Goddess to get through the next couple of months.

I was living all alone in my house and although I was initially quite scared , especially at night, I would think of Bala just before drifting off to sleep and ask her to protect me.
And she did.

One morning, around 2.30 a.m. , I heard a loud noise near the door leading to the terrace. I was particularly tired that night and instead of being alarmed, I merely turned over, said loudly “ Baala protect me, protect me” and went straight back to sleep!

The following morning, my grand- niece came to visit me. I love to play with children and spent an hour with this adorable child, entertaining her with games and stories.
After a while, the little child insisted on going out onto the terrace. I obliged, reluctantly because it was noon and the terrace flooring would be too hot for those tender feet.
However, even as I turned the knob on the door leading to the terrace, it fell away completely. A closer inspection revealed that someone had tampered with the lock.

It was quite clear that an attempt had been made to gain entry to my bedroom through the terrace door. However, the burglar perhaps took flight because I had shouted out to Bala.

I realized then, the importance of Sri Ezhilmani’s often quoted lines “Baala irruka Bayam Illai. Bayam Irrukkum Idathil Baala Illai”.

This means: Where Baala resides, there should be no fear. If there is fear, then Baala is not there anymore.

In other words, one should have complete belief and faith in Baala. This will automatically eradicate all fear. If you still are fearful of situations and events, this means you have not yet placed your full trust in HER. This injuction also means that one should accept outcomes with equanimity and avoid despondency .

These few lines have guided me in my life thus far. I have learned to place complete and unquestioning faith in Baala and She has stood beside me, protecting me at all times. She has also provided me with the mental strength to accept a lot of unpleasant situations in life. This was proved particularly true in the period leading up to the wedding.

I sat in my Puja room and prayed to Bala sincerely, seeking her help. I started getting all my drawing materials organized and just as I was going to commence the painting, the doorbell rang. It was the postman with a parcel sent by courier from the Nemili Peetam. Babaji had sent me the Chandi Homam prasadam!
I remember this being Wednesday, (October 24th). That day marked the auspicious start of Bala’s painting.

For the next ten days, I worked on this painting, mainly at night, since during the day I had a lot of house- related work to get finished. Every day, I would sit up well past midnight listening only to Bala’s songs and Babaji’s voice on the innumerable CDs I possessed.
Within two or three days, I had completed the pencil drawing. That is to say, it was Bala who orchestrated the whole event.

While I was drawing, I kept receiving continuous directions on how exactly to draw this picture.

At one point, while drawing her face, Bala told me: “Lift up your pencil. Don’t add another stroke. You are going to ruin my smile!”

While drawing her eyes, it was the same. It was very evident to me that this picture was an extraordinary “play” of Bala, the little child.
I knew I had to finish this painting quickly, but did not know why.

The day after my pencil portrait was finished, she did tell me why. “I want this portrait completed and brought to the Peetam on my birthday, November 4th. This is my birthday gift to my beloved son”.

It was only then that the real stress of doing this painting began to hit me. How was it possible to finish painting this portrait, then to embellish it with sparkling crystals, and finally get it framed and out to Nemili on time? I had less than a week to go.

I tried not to panic. Somehow, I had the firm belief that Bala would take from me exactly what She wanted. This had happened before. Why should this occasion be any different?

The rest of the week went by in a blur. I had no thought in my mind other than Bala. I listened to the Bala Andhadhi almost incessantly, never tiring of listening to those symbolic and powerful words in tamil, gliding effortlessly from one verse to the next .

Finally, on Saturday, November 3rd, I put the final touches to the painting. The framer Subramani had come in the day before to take precise measurements for the frame.

Incidentally, ever since his first trip to Nemili, Subramani’s business had taken off really well and he attributed all his success to Bala!

The portrait was ready to be framed by midday on Saturday. I heaved a huge sigh of relief and went inside my puja room to thank Bala. As I sat down in front of the little painting, I mentally asked her what else I should bring in for her birthday.

The reply was swift: “Get a sandal wood garland for the painting and some laddus”.

I did as instructed, although it had been my intention to take in some fresh flower garlands and some bags of chocolates and candies.

The thought did cross my mind that I was getting rather “addicted” to this “inner voice”.

Members of my family could not really understand many of my actions or from “whom” exactly I was getting my commands. My mother, in particular, was extremely concerned that I had somehow become “too” dependent on Nemili Bala.
She was also getting anxious as it was the month of November. Even at this late point, I had not forged ahead with any of the wedding preparations. Even the invitations were not ready!
I assured her that Bala would see to it that everything would run smoothly.

On Sunday, November 4th, I departed for Nemili, with Bala’s birthday gift for Sri Ezhilmani, after informing him that I was bringing in a painting that Bala herself had finished for him. I had been only a tool in carrying out the painting. There was a slight drizzle of rain just as we left. I interpreted this as a good omen.

Despite our best efforts to arrive at the Peetam before 10 a.m., we were delayed. The truck in which the painting was being carried moved along quite slowly. We waited for over an hour on the outskirts of Nemili for the truck to catch up with our car. Finally, at 11.30 a.m., the painting of Bala was brought inside the Peetam.
Sri Ezhilmani pointed out that Bala could not have chosen a better time. “You see, her birth star, Pooram is born today, at exactly 11.30 a.m.”!

The past few days had tired me out both mentally and physically. I sat down in front of Bala and found that I could not think of anything except for the fact She had accomplished what She set out to do through me. She had given me the confidence, mental and physical strength to work for the past fortnight. Now, I just felt very tired.

After the customary puja and Bala parayanam was completed, Sri Ezhilmani made an announcement to the assembled crowd and told them about how my tireless efforts over the previous week to finish this painting on time. Then he said something that completely floored me.
He said “Now, it’s our turn to honour this person who has worked hard to finish this lovely painting. Bala has asked us to present Mrs Uma Shiv Kumar with a sandal wood garland”.

“But, She asked me to get Her one”, I blurted out in complete astonishment.
Sri Ezhilmani was smiling slightly “Well, this is Her Bathil Mariyathai (return of respect)”.

I chastised myself for ever having doubted my “inner voice”.

There was one more little surprise that day. Sri Ezhilmani made another announcement to the assembled crowd. Since this was Bala’s birthday, he instructed that they should remain and have her birthday “sweet”. He said “Do you know Bala’s favourite sweet is laddoos? She has asked many people to bring them in today”!

As I took leave of this wonderful family at Nemili that day, Sri Ezhilmani beckoned me inside his room and said to me “ I have been asked by Bala to tell you something. This is her Uthiravu( command)”. I looked on, perplexed. He continued “Bala is aware you are having a lot of problems within your family. However, She wants you to just overlook any insults you might have incurred and not react until the wedding is over. Bala knows how and when to punish wrongdoers. You do not have to worry”.

I realized then that nothing can really be hidden from Bala. As Sri Ezhilmani put it:
“Once She has accepted you as part of the family, She knows everything concerning you”.

To experience Bala is something extremely unique. The incidents of November 4th, 2007, gave me new found confidence and the mental strength to stand up to those among my family who thought I was going mad.

Following this last visit to Nemili, I set about the task of ordering the wedding invitations, making sure an image of Bala was on every card. Many were the trips I made to Nemili during this period. It was almost as if every single detail regarding this wedding should get the nod of approval from Bala and her family.
Sri Ezhilmani and his wife were the first people to get the wedding invitations. They also blessed the “thaali” (mangalsutra) for the bride.

In mid- November, I found myself assailed by many problems in the house. One day, a surge of power knocked out two new television sets and the computer system. Obviously, I had checked and double-checked the electrical wiring in the house, but no one seemed to know the cause for this outage. Every night, the fuse would blow out, plunging various parts of the house into darkness: a particularly scary situation since I stayed alone.

One night, well past midnight, just as I was going upstairs to my bedroom, a huge painting crashed down the stairs, narrowly missing me! To add to these woes, I found it extremely difficult to get reliable house- help. It definitely looked like the house was jinxed!
I called Babaji one day and spoke to him about my concerns. His reply was characteristic. “Just think”, he said “ it might have been worse. Bala is protecting you from greater personal harm or injury”.

Soon after these disturbing events, I got a call from Sri Ezhilmani. Apparently the family was coming down to Chennai to attend a relative’s wedding. I inquired if he could stop by my house on his return journey. Sri Ezhilmani was not too sure, and said that he would try and come.

On Friday, November 16th, Sri Ezhilmani, Baby Amma, his two sons and their family were able to find time to visit my home in Chennai. This event too must have been organized by Bala. Babaji told me that his father never made it a habit of attending weddings or visiting people in their homes. I suppose that I was extraordinarily lucky that day.
While leaving, Babaji remarked: “ Sometimes, Bala just sends us to certain homes where inmates may have problems. We are not aware of these problems, but just follow her instructions. However, one thing is sure. By our setting foot in your house, all your problems have vanished”.

The family’s visit and those soothing words gave me a great deal of comfort!

On one of my subsequent visits to Nemili, a sudden thought suggestion led me to seek out Babaji as my Guru. I obtained “deekshai” (i.e. initiation) from him and joined the Bala Vidya Mandir in their regular Bala Parayanams. Although Babaji gave this “initiation” quite readily, little did I realize at that time that this involved taking a serious vow to observe the path carved out by him.

Bala Parayanam involved singing her songs as a group with other members of the Bala Vidya Mandir , with the objective of praying for people who had problems. It was a kind of group effort to send positive thoughts across to people undergoing a lot of suffering in their lives. Group prayers also targeted the victims of natural disasters like hurricanes, earthquakes, etc. Babaji’s songs in praise of all the natural forces of the universe – earth, water, air, fire and space – were sung so that these five important elements can protect the universe from catastrophic disasters.

These group sessions are held twice a month on the occasion of “new moon”, and “full moon” days, by members of the Vidya Mandir in their own homes. However, on the first Sunday of every month, parayanams are held at Sri Bala Peetam, Nemili.

During November, 2007, I found my time completely absorbed by all things relating to Bala and Nemili.
I made new friends, all of whom were Bala devotees. I was extremely touched by their honesty, sincerity and by the genuine support they all gave me.

Of course, Bala, is a remarkable, mischievous, child- Goddess. Her schemes for me had started a long time ago, in 2002 or even earlier than that!

She had endowed me with the “gift” of being able to paint many deities. She saw to it that I was involved in executing each painting, filled with nothing but love for the respective deity. She made sure I had no inkling of what I was going to do with all these paintings.

In fact, I had written a letter to the Bala Peetam from London, way back in November 2005, when my daughter was ill, seeking Her blessings for a quick recovery. I remember attaching another small request at the end of this letter. “ I don’t really know why I’m doing all these paintings. I only wish that these paintings and my writings can be of some use to humanity. I wish to be of service to you and your family”.

Bala had heard my request and in her own inscrutable manner, She had made sure that my paintings reached her.
Even as I write this diary, I as yet have little idea of why I have this urge to keep a record of all the events that have happened in my life. Sri Ezhilmani asked me to narrate the story of how my daughter’s wedding got fixed and was performed by Bala. I am merely carrying out his instructions. The rest is up to Bala!

In the same manner, it was Bala who ensured that I did the two large portraits of her for the Peetam a year ago. She had engineered every episode of my life and and that of my family’s, just in order for all my paintings to reach her abode during Navarathri 2007.

Sri Ezhilmani put across his opinion, which summed up the whole episode.

He said, “If Bala had commanded you to draw 103 portraits of various deities, you would never have been able to finish that work. The sheer mental pressure that the project should be perfect, and finished on time, would have ensured the opposite result.
However, over the past few years, Bala has made sure that you had no clue about what you were going to do with your paintings. You did each painting meditating and concentrating only on that particular deity. You were wholly immersed in your work and let no other thought, or any imagined pressure that you had to complete this project on time, bother you.

Now, that the task is over, Bala has collected back from you what she wanted, in a manner that didn’t make you feel sad, or in any case, deprived, for giving these paintings away. That is the beauty, that is the Glory, that is the play of the mischievous Bala for you!”

He laughed resoundingly as I stood open- mouthed, in awe.

During the Navarathri period of 2007, I decided to visit a few temples in Tamilnadu. I should rather say that Bala arranged this trip for me. Fortunately, I found a traveling companion and set off on a pilgrimage for a few days, although the first starting point was the Bala Peetam at Nemili, on October 15th.

How did Bala “arrange” this pilgrimage?

After giving away all my paintings to the Nemili Peetam, I returned home and placed a small photograph of Nemili Bala that Sri Ezhilmani had given me in my Puja room. Although I had given away most of my paintings, there was just one left. This was the massive portrait of my Guru, Sri Santhananda Swamigal. I had done this portrait whilst in London several years ago. I placed it in my puja room, against the side wall. I positioned another photograph, of Maha Periyava of Kanchi, on the opposite wall.

The tiny picture of Baala was flanked by these two most revered sages.

I sat down in front of Bala to meditate. However, a small inner voice kept cropping up preventing my peace of mind. This voice was saying: “ Remove the portraits of both these Gurus. Didn’t I ask you to place just my photo in your Puja room?”

I had heard this “inner voice” on several occasions. This was the same voice that gave me instructions and commands. By now, I had learned to distinguish this divine voice from the random thoughts and fantasies of my own mind. This time, however, I pretended not to hear it . After all, I reasoned to myself, what harm can the portraits of two holy men do, that too in my puja room?

I tried as hard as I could to concentrate my mind on Bala for the next half-hour, but found it almost impossible since the inner voice kept repeating the same message.
Finally, I got up and moved both portraits into the next room, closing the door. The Puja room now housed Bala alone.

Once again, I sat down to meditate. This time I could hear Bala very clearly.

“I can be the only person to sit inside this room. You are all alone in this house and I will see to it that no harm comes to you.
You can give away the painting of your Guru to the Bhuvaneswari Peetam in Pudukkottai. He was only a guide in your spiritual path and has brought you to me. From now on, I shall be your friend, family, Guru and Guide. You need no one else”.

All this was said very quickly, almost before I could comprehend what was happening.
It had been my intention to donate my Guru’s painting to the temple he built, at Skandashramam in Tambaram.

However, here was Bala, clearly asking me to take it to Pudukkottai, near Trichy!

The next day, I made arrangements for this portrait to be packed and shipped to Pudukkottai, to coincide with my arrival a few days later.

Since I had no choice but to follow Her instructions, and since my trip involved visiting Trichy, I thought I could add visits to a few more holy places to my journey, thus completing a pilgrimage during this holy period.

I began my pilgrimage by visiting Nemili on Monday, October 15th. Navarathri celebrations at the Peetam were in full swing and I sat for a while absorbing the peaceful atmosphere. I prayed to Bala that she should always be with me, guiding me on my spiritual path. I prayed that my temple tour should proceed smoothly and that I should obtain a good darshan at all the temples I intended to visit.

Bala’s quick reply came: ‘ You will get a very good darshan at all temples, because I will be with you. In each temple I will make you stand directly in front of the main sanctum, almost as if no one else can intervene in the space between the Supreme Deity and yourself. However, you cannot talk about this to anyone, until the end of this trip”.

And, just as I took leave of Sri Ezhilmani and his wife, a lightning instruction was passed on “ Do a portrait of me, just as you see me in the peetam; a tiny thumb sized idol hiding in the huge circular skirt (pavadai)”.

My immediate reaction was: “ How will I have time to do another painting? I have still so much work to do in getting the house organized; I have not even started wedding arrangements. Here I am, embarking on a pilgrimage because Bala instructed me to go to Pudukkottai. That tour itself is going to take a week to complete. As it is, my mother cannot not understand why I keep “running off” to Nemili so frequently and is really concerned about my state of mind!”

These thoughts were uppermost in my mind. However, I had the full belief that Bala would never forsake me. Somehow, She would make sure that I could accomplish what she wanted me to.

I proceeded on my journey revisiting many of the temples I had gone to the previous year.
Thiruvakkarai, abode of the mesmerizing and powerful Kali was my first stop. Here, as Bala had just said, the inner sanctum was completely empty. I thought it was quite strange to find the temple so completely deserted, that too on a holy day. Nevertheless, I went inside and the priest took special care to perform a small puja for this powerful deity. He instructed me to walk around the sanctum five times, both in an anti clockwise as well as in a clockwise manner, and tied a red thread on my wrist. “Pray sincerely to this Kali. She will surely help you”.

I did as I was told. I prayed to Kali to give me the mental and physical strength to do a portrait of her child Bala.

In fact, at all subsequent temples I visited, this was my prayer. I beseeched each deity to help me paint a lovely portrait of the tiny Bala, smiling enigmatically while perched amidst the vast folds of an enormous skirt!

Following a visit to the famous Manakula Vinayaka temple in Pondicherry, I rested there for the first night.
The next morning found my companion and I speeding on our way to the famous Shiva temple at Tirupaadripuliyur, near Cuddalore. I had thoroughly enjoyed my visit here last year, and cherished the opportunity to sit once again in meditation at the holy spot where Goddess Parvathi once performed penance, as Arun Thava Naayaki.

We visited the holy abode of Lord Nataraja at Chidambaram next, and the Lord of Dance gave us a magnificent Darshan. We paid our respects to the powerful Kali at the outskirts (Ellai) of Chidambaram before proceeding on to Sirgazhi and Tirukkadaiyur in quick succession. At all these temples, there appeared to be hardly any crowds and I found myself walking straight up to the inner sanctum in a matter of minutes to obtain a superb darshan of the deity!
At Sirgazhi, I climbed up the steep steps to the very top of the temple tower to receive the blessings of Lord Shiva and Parvathi, in their very accessible, human form.
I sat in meditation before the sanctum of the famous Ashta Bhairavars, and then journeyed on to receive the grace of Abhiraami Amman at Tirukkadaiyur.

Many were the temples I was able to visit on this special temple trip, all with Bala’s blessings.

At Kadiramangalam, the Goddess of the forests ( Vana Durgai) stands tall and imposing with a sword by her side to vanquish all enemies. At Ayyavadi, a small village , six kilometers from Kumbakonam, Mahaa Prathyangira appears ferocious with her lion’s face and eight arms loaded with weapons banishing fear from the hearts of her devotees.
Lord Murugan, the warrior God presents a novel image at the Swarnapureeswarar temple in Azhagaputhur, by carrying a conch and chakra in his two hands, symbols of Lord Vishnu. The story goes that Lord Vishnu gave his two weapons ( the conch and discus) to Lord Muruga during his battle with the demon, or Soora Samharam. Lord Shiva resides here as Padikkasu Nathar. It is believed that monetary problems get swift relief when two coins are placed on the step, “Padi”, and then returned to the giver.

At Naachiyaar Koil, we saw Lord Vishnu in his form as Tirunaraiyur Nambi marrying his bride, Vanchulavalli Thaayaar, as the famous Kal Garudan, his mount, looks on.

Koothanoor, the only temple for the Goddess of arts and Knowledge, Saraswathi, sits by the Arasalar river. It was at this holy spot, where all the three holy waters from the rivers Ganges, Yamuna and Saraswathi mingle, that a devout but mute devotee by the name of Ottakoothar gained poetic ability through the grace of the Goddess.
When we visited the temple during this auspicious Navarathri period, the Goddess was decked fully with fruits, as Goddess Sakambari. This signifies the Goddess making sure that no one on earth suffers from lack of nourishment!.

We revisited Tiruvarur, the holiest of all Shaivaite temples in Tamil Naadu. Associated with the rich musical and spiritual tradition of dynasties past, this temple town was where the Carnatic music trinity, Muthuswami Dikshitar, Tyagaraja and Syama Sastri were all born.

One of the most important Sapta Vitanka Stalams associated with Lord Indra, Vishnu and the King Muchukunda Cholan, I came by the opportunity to savour the splendour of the evening puja and revisit the famous Kamalalayam tank. I was also able to get darshan of Goddess Kamalamba , made famous in the Navavarna krithis of Dikshitar.

Over the next few days, our journey covered many more interesting temples. Aadi Kumbeshwarar temple, in the heart of Kumbakonam, is over 1,300 years old and bears the unmistakable impressions from successive rulers of the Pallava, Chola , Pandya and Nayak reigns.

It was while I was standing in front of Lord Shiva in this massive sanctum at the Kumbeshwarar temple that I had another interesting experience. The sanctum was completely empty. In fact, my companion and I had arrived very early that morning and were the first devotees to walk inside.

All of a sudden a man entered the sanctum and without hesitation walked right up to my side. “ You must proceed to Thirupaamburam temple”, he said , and went on: “ You see , at this temple, both Rahu and Kethu are worshipped in a single form and worship here is very beneficial for those suffering from the malevolence of these two planets”.
I was very surprised as it certainly looked as if I was being asked to go there!

We enquired as to the wherabouts of this temple and the stranger insisted we should follow him as he was going in that direction on his scooter. He also instructed me to visit yet another Kali temple nearby, at Ambakathur.

According to legend, it was at Tirupamburam that the inflated and puffed up ego of the Snake God was quelled. This legend has it that Lord Ganapathi worshipped Shiva and bowed low in respect to him. Yet the snake worn by Shiva as an ornament on his head became angry that Ganesha did not bow to him deferentially as well.

So, in order to remove the serpent’s ego, Lord Shiva cursed the snake- king and ordered him to be deprived of all poison and venom. The only antidote to this curse could be obtained if the Snake- king came to Tirupamburam and worshipped Lord Shiva. It is said that in this village, even today, many snakes roam freely about and are regarded almost as pets. They don’t bite anyone!

Amban and Ambakasuran were two vain asuras who were vanquished by Kali at a place called Ambakathur. There is an imposing image of a very fierce Kali in the sanctum here. Once again, I was able to stand right in front of the main sanctum and obtain a wonderful darshan. I stood with my eyes closed, praying to the powerful goddess to help me carry out my painting of Bala without any disturbances after my pilgrimage was over. An instant message flashed into my mind.

“Visit the temple the priest is about to mention”.
I opened my eyes, the temple priest gave me prasadam and remarked to my companion. “ If you come to see Ambkathur Kali, you should also visit her son, Lord Skanda , who stands at Kandakudi temple, nearby”.

Soon, we were off to this temple. Asking for directions along the way, we soon reached Kandakudi. There was a slight drizzle of rain as we approachd the main gates of the temple. However, the temple gates seemed shut. I was about to turn away in disappointment when we spotted an old priest shuffling along the dusty road towards the entrance.
He was the only priest at this rather old, small temple.

Soon, I was standing in front of a superb bronze image of Lord Skanda seated on his peacock, with Valli and Devasena on either side.

Here, Devasena ( daughter of Lord Indra) did penance to marry Murugan , and Karthikeya stands valiantly at this spot ready to help his mother, Amakathur Kali, while she fights the two demons.

The sculpture of Lord Skanda at this temple is, quite simply, stunning. I had never seen a more handsome face sculpted to depict this warrior god in all the Murugan temples I had visited so far.

Just as we took leave, I drew the old priest aside and told him about the message I received from Ambakathur Kali. He smiled at me and said: “Why, everyone knows you can’t visit her without coming here as well. She told you herself because you were not aware of this”.

Tirumeeyachur is my favourite temple. On my visit this time, we entered just as the arathi was being shown to the Goddess, seated majestically on her throne, the temple reverberating with the chants of Sri Lalitha Sahasranamam.

After worshipping Lord Saneeswara at the famous temple at Tirunallar nearby, we traveled on towards Trichy, visiting more temples enroute.

I couldn’t resist another glimpse of Lord Skanda at Swamimalai, or the great Goddess Durga at Patteeswaram. At Nallur, I was able to revisit both the impressive sanctum for the Kali as well as to observe the Shiva Lingam that changes its colours every couple of hours throughout the day.

Ganapathy Agraharam, on the road to Tiruvaiyaru, is one of the oldest shrines to Lord Ganesha. Legend goes that the idol here was installed by Sage Agasthiyar. It is generally believed that most Brahmins originate from this area.

Tiruvaiyaru is a vast temple complex spanning over 15 acres, with five prakarams. Most of the temple does look dilapidated, but the shrines of Lord Shiva as Panchanadeeshwarar and that of his consort, Dharma Samvardhini, seemed vibrant and alive with a powerful mystical force. True to its traditions as a seat of Music and dance, a couple of concerts were going on in the temple precincts while we were there.

A fitting end to a day, as the dusk was swiftly falling on this ancient temple situated by the banks of the river Kaveri.

Saint Tyagaraja’s Samadhi is at the temple in Tiruvaiyaru, and it is believed that Lord Shiva obtained the name “ Pancha Nadeeshwarar” owing to the fact that five rivers including Kaveri converge at this sacred spot!

It was late afternoon on a Thursday when I reached Pudukkottai. The Bhuvaneswari Peetam was decorated beautifully since it was Navarathri, and a Chandi Homam was in progress as we walked in. I noticed that my painting of Sri Shanthananda Swamigal had reached the peetam earlier in the morning of the same day. However, the wooden packing it had come in had not yet been removed. Also the current Peetathibadhi, Omkarananda Swamigal, was at the Peetam and the administrator informed us that we might have to wait for a couple of hours to see him .

Consequently, we decided to visit the nearby town of Pillayarpatti during this time to obtain the darshan of the famous Pillayaar here. I was certainly visiting more temples than I had intended to!

Lord Ganesha was waiting for us adorned and bedecked in his Golden armor (Kavacham). Again, and much to my companion’s amazement, we were able to receive a superb darshan of this mighty lord, the remover of all obstacles.
We drove back to Pudukkottai just as the late evening puja was in progress. My painting had been uncovered and Swami Omkarananda gave me his blessings.
I felt a sense of relief that I had carried out Bala’s instructions. By coincidence, it was Thursday (Guru’s day).

We saw a few more temples in the vicinity of Trichy before returning to Chennai.

Thiruvellarai, a Vaishnavaite shrine and an important temple among the 108 Divya desams is about 30 odd kilometers from Trichy.

This ancient temple was in existence before Sri Rangam and is held extremely sacred by Vaishnavaites. The Lord is imposing as Pundarikakshan and stands alongside his consorts, Shenbagavalli and Pankayachelvi. There are two entrances in this temple, each reached by climbing 18 steps. The “Uttarayanam” entrance is opened from the months of Thai until Aadi and the “Dakshinayanam” entrance is opened during the other half of the year. Just outside the temple is an interesting temple pond in the shape of a Swastika, designed deliberately for privacy, so that bathers at each end of the pond cannot get a glimpse of the other side!

Tirupattur, another important Shaivaite shrine near Trichy has an imposing image of Lord Brahma. Apparently Brahma lost one of his five heads at the hands of an irate Shiva. At Tirupattoor, he did penance and regained both his lost head as well as his job of creating the universe.

I also revisited Tiruvaanaikaval and the famous Akhilandeshwari shrine as well as the Kula Deivam temple for Shiva at Tiruvaasi and, finally, the powerful Mariamman at Samayapuram.

On the journey back, my traveling companion remarked on the fact that we had obtained a really good darshan at each temple during this normally busy season. Even at Samayapuram, I was lucky enough to get a very clear and uninterrupted view of this great Goddess. In fact, I managed to stand on the step just inside the main sanctum , oblivious of the surging crowds behind me!

I thanked Bala from the depths of my heart and then told my friend about how this child goddess had arranged all these great darshans at each temple!

Back in Chennai, I realized I would have to start on the new painting immediately.

My first visit to Nemili in September 2007 was certainly momentuous. It set off in motion a sequence of events that culminated in the wedding the following January. Following the wedding, I stayed on in Chennai until May 21st, 2008 and the events that took place during this period were also clearly pre destined by Bala.

The process of shifting to my house in Chennai in the autumn of 2007 seemed to be taking an undue amount of time, and was proving to be quite expensive as well. There were quite a few alterations and essential renovations that had to be carried out and electrical repair works in this house appeared unending. Just as one problem was solved, another seemed to present itself. I found myself stretched to the limit, trying to put out all the fires at the same time. On the family front, matters took a turn for the worse and it seemed as if Bala and her family were to remain the only source of strength for me.

I busied myself for a few weeks with setting up the house. Some of my family’s personal effects, used furniture and books had been shipped from London and my husband had managed to ship out all my precious paintings as well.

I had intended to give away all the paintings to the Sri Bala Peetam, especially since I had been instructed to do so a year earlier by Bala. However, most of my paintings needed to be framed and since there were more than 100 paintings, many of them in a large size, I thought I would get this done slowly after the wedding was finished.

Once again, Bala reminded me that she would be the best person to undertake all the decisions concerning Her and the Peetam.

One day, surrounded as usual by a myriad of problems relating to the house, I got an unmistakable directive from Bala. I was to bring in all the paintings to her Peetam almost immediately.

I was perplexed. How would it be possible to frame so many paintings so quickly?

Nevertheless, a friend of mine suggested we take a trip to the “Town” area, or the old city centre of Chennai. Here, it is usually possible to find a variety of tradespeople who offer their services at a more reasonable price compared to the more expensive, urban areas of the city. We walked up and down narrow alleys in these dusty, dirty areas of “Town”, searching for a person who could frame paintings.

Finally, just as I was giving up hope and becoming stifled by the heat and humidity, we found him. His name was Subramaniam and he was sitting crosslegged in a tiny corner shop working at a ferocious speed, framing photos of various Hindu deities.

My friend and I paused as we passed by his shop and asked him if he would be up to the task of framing a large number of paintings in a hurry. He was quite eager to do so, particularly as business was slow for him just then. He was also willing to come to my house and finish the project there.
I could hardly believe my luck. Or was it really that Bala wanted something to happen quickly and therefore took care of what she wanted for Her Peetam?

It took Subramani and his brother one day to visit my house and take the relevant measurements for all the paintings that needed to be framed. The next day, a team of six framers came to the house and by the end of the day all 103 paintings had been framed.
It took exactly two days for this project to be completed, from start to finish.
Even as I write this today, I can scarcely believe that this enormous task was finished so quickly and without any mishaps or accidents.

The following day was Amavasai or New Moon day. This is the auspicious start of the nine day festival of Navarathri, an event celebrated in a very grand manner at the Peetam.
It seemed obvious that Bala had finished the framing job quickly because she wanted the paintings to reach her right at the start of Navarathri.

I called Sri Bala Peetam and asked to speak with Sri Ezhilmani. It was Murali who answered the phone. He indicated that his uncle was busy doing puja, but would be happy to relay a message to him. I quickly told him that I had been commanded by Bala to bring all my paintings over to the Peetam. “Can I bring them over tomorrow?” I asked.

Murali said he would relay this information to his uncle.
Within a few moments, Sri Ezhilmani called me. I repeated my message. He replied: “You know, we really appreciate you are giving away all your paintings. However, as you might be aware, Navarathri is a very busy period for all of us here at the peetam. Also, we really don’t have much room here in the house to store so many paintings. Why don’t you bring it later, after the festive period is over? Or, you can even bring the paintings in after the hall is built in the new year?”

I agreed to his request, although I felt a bit disappointed. Placing the phone down, I closed my eyes and beseeched Bala. “ It was you who gave me the skill to draw and paint. You reminded of this and asked me to give away all my work to you. It was you who asked me to do the framing task immediately. Now that the task is over, why is Sri Ezhilmani asking me to bring them later?”

The phone rang once more. It was Sri Ezhilmani again. This time he just said, “I’ve changed my mind. Do bring over all the paintings tomorrow morning. I’ll find a place to store them.” That was it! There was no further explanation or conversation.

Subramani and his brother had arranged a large truck to transport my paintings to Nemili the following day. I requested them to come in quite early, allowing plenty of time for packing. It was late evening by now and I went into my Puja room to light the oil lamp.

All the framed paintings were neatly stacked along the walls waiting to be moved out. I sat in silence, looking at each one of them mentally reliving every single experience I had undergone while painting them. Finally, my eyes rested on the large portrait of Balaji . The Lord of Tirumala shone in splendour, adorned with all the precious jewels. This painting is one of my best works and was greatly appreciated by everyone, especially my mother.

Just then the phone rang. It was my mother . I informed her of my decision to give away all my paintings to the Bala Peetam at Nemili. She seemed slightly perturbed. However, she pleaded with me to retain at least one of my paintings, especially that of Lord Venkateswara. For a moment I was tempted to do just that. My mother insisted that my Puja room should not be swept clean and that I must keep back one large portrait.

I was unable to decide what to do. I closed my eyes and sought guidance from Bala.
“Do you want me to give you all my paintings?” I asked her. “Can I not keep just one painting for myself? Just the one of Lord Balaji?”

Like the crack of a whip, Her answer flashed through my mind.

“I especially want you to part with Lord Balaji. You should not have any attachment to your paintings because they do not belong to you anymore. Bring all your paintings to me tomorrow. In your empty Puja room, place the small photo of mine that my son, Ezhilmani has given you. I will stand in your puja room everyday, guarding this house. Don’t place pictures of any other deity in this room. Just my photo. I will surely take care of you”.

I felt a lot happier now. This was Bala’s decision and I no longer felt regret or remorse.

Early next morning, the truck arrived. However, the task of packing each individual painting took a long time. I had initially told Sri Ezhilmani that I would be at the Peetam by 9 a.m. However, by the time the packing was completed, it was twelve noon.
By the time we reached Nemili, it was close to 3 p.m. I was a worried that this timing might be inconvenient for the family at Nemili.
I was mistaken.
I had barely taken a step inside the peetam when Sri Ezhilmani himself came swiftly to the door to greet me. With a huge smile on his face, he told me that I could not really dictate what time I might come in to see Bala. “ You see, if you had arrived at 9 a.m, we would not have been ready to receive these paintings. I have been cracking the whip on all my family members since early morning today to clear some space and they have only just finished this work. You have come just in time”.

I looked on in awe as a team of volunteers marched in smartly from inside the house and formed an assembly line to quickly transport my paintings to the storage rooms.

One by one, all the deities entered Bala’s house.

I noticed that the small Karumarriamman painting , which was the first colour painting I had done after my first visit to Nemili, was indeed the first painting to be taken out of the truck by random chance.

No, there was no mistake . It was crystal clear to me that Bala was there , almost physically present , overseeing this little operation.

I moved out of the way to enable the helpers to unload the truck. Finally, I entered the Peetam and made my way to Bala’s throne room. To my surprise, I discovered that two of my paintings had been brought inside and placed along the walls on either sides of the Peetam. My painting of Ashta Lakshmis ( Eight Lakshmis) had placed on the left wall, whilst that of the Lord of Tirumala had been placed directly opposite on the right side.

In fact, it appeared that a large space had been cleared on either side to accommodate these two paintings. Even before I could ask, Sri Ezhilmani volunteered this information:
“Last night Bala gave us a command to clear the space on either side of the peetam. She said that her devotee would bring in a painting of Ashta laksmi as well as the Lord Balaji and has requested us to place them in these two particular spots”.

I was totally stunned. It was slowly dawning on me that “I” had actually been in touch with this mighty Goddess the night before!

Bala had indeed WANTED that portrait of Balaji for a particular reason.

Sri Ezhilmani continued “You see, there is no difference between Bala and Balaji. The lord resides at Tirumala in what is considered to be a Shakthi Peetam. On the back side of the main idol in Tirupathi, there is a long braid of plaited hair – proof that this is a feminine deity. More than several thousand years ago, Tirupathi has been a center of worship for both Lord Muruga as well as Bala Tirupurasundari . Only in recent times has it been used as a Vaishnavaite shrine. That is the reason Bala wanted the image of Lord Venkateswara standing just below her”.

I looked up. Yes, they had positioned my painting of Lord Balaji directly below the photocopy of my “Bala” painting I had given to the Rochester temple.

Baby Amma came up to me and narrated the story of how she had witnessed Goddess Kamakshi with a Sri Chakra below her feet in one of her dreams, and how she was sure that all deities are ultimately residing in Bala. Both Babaji and Sri Ezhilmani have written several songs bringing out the truth that all Gods love Bala as their favorite child. In fact, the peetam is filled with the presence of holy sages, Siddhas, and all the Celestial beings in the Heavens, every single day, because they love to see, admire and pay homage to Bala.

Now, as if to prove this truth in a literal manner, all my paintings of Gods, starting from the many Pillayars, Lord Shiva, Kamakshi Amman ( with a Chakra below her feet), Lakshmi, Raja Rajeshwari, Bhuvaneswari, Karumari, Lord Vishnu, the Dasha Mahaa Vidyas, to the Nitya Deities seemed to have come to their final resting place!

I left Nemili that day feeling exhilarated. Hardly a year ago, in the same Peetam, Bala had commanded me to bring all my paintings to her.
I hadn’t thought this would be possible since it involved transporting them from London to Chennai.
However, this had now taken place.

Just as I am writing this, it strikes me that if my daughter’s wedding had actually taken place in Hawaii as originally planned, I would never have come down to Chennai, set up a house here, or transported any of my personal belongings from London!

CHAPTER 38

BALA IRUKKA BAYAMILLAI

BAYAM IRUKKUM IDATHIL BALA ILLAI

( Where Bala is present fear isn’t;
Where fear is present, Bala isn’t).

July 4th, 2008.

I resumed my journal today, after obtaining permission from Sri Ezhilmani at Nemili Bala Peetam to narrate all the extraordinary events that have occurred in my life from September 2007 to the present.

Soon after my arrival in Chennai in mid-September 2007, I began the task of slowly shifting into my house as preparation for commencing the arrangements for my daughter’s wedding .

Since Bala had chosen the wedding date as January 4th 2008, it was my intention to visit Nemili as soon as possible and meet Sri Ezhilmani.

However, during the very first week of my stay at my mother’s house in Chennai, several events occurred that resulted in much emotional turmoil. Within a week’s time, my husband, who had flown in with me, returned to London, and I was left to cope with all the work required for moving into a new house, as well as the additional task of organizing the wedding.

One whole week had gone by and I had not yet visited Nemili!

This was the foremost thought in my mind one morning as I sat in meditation and contemplated on the Child- Goddess. Like a flash of lightning, I received a message from Bala:

‘Go to Nemili this Friday and inform my son and his wife about your daughter’s wedding. Do this in the proper, formal manner taking fruits, flowers , a Veshti ( dhothi) for Ezhilmani and a saree for his wife”.

I called Sri Bala Peetam and told Sri Ezhimani that I would like to come to the Peetam on Friday. In his usual friendly manner, he welcomed me to his home with great enthusiasm. So, a few days later, I set off alone for the peetam, bearing gifts for Bala and her son as instructed. As the car sped on the route to Nemili, I listened to Bala’s songs and reflected on the some of the unfortunate incidents that had occurred so soon after my arrival, incidents that had caused a total disruption in family ties. It seemed to me that my hope of planning a happy family get- together at my daughter’s wedding had been completely shattered.

It was then with a very heavy heart that I entered Bala’s Peetam. Nevertheless, I reminded myself that I had traveled to Nemili on Bala’s instructions. She surely knew about my problems and was there to help me. In fact, even as I took one small step onto the small raised platform where her Peetam stood majestically, I felt all my worries and fear ebb slowly away.

Carefully, I placed the fruits, flowers and the tray bearing the gifts for Sri Ezhilmani and his wife at the base of the Peetam and sat quietly for a few moments listening to the songs Sri Ezhilmani played on his audio system. He explained to me that a new CD had been released, and I sat with my eyes closed as the music started. “ Nemili Nagar Aallum Naayakiye” ( The ruler of Nemili Nagar).

The melodious voice of Sudha Anand carried me, light as air, into a completely unique and surreal atmosphere where Bala was present in all her shining glory. The song that followed “ Kannil Neer vazhiya, Kavalaigal Pizhiya, Anru Nemili Vanthen Baala” ( I came to you that day, Oh Bala with tears in my eyes, harassed by worries) , was an emotionally charged piece which, given my present circumstances, held a particularly potent significance. Despite my best attempts, I was soon weeping like a small child as I sat all alone in front of Bala.

Sri Ezhilmani had retired to his room briefly as I had been listening to the songs. He now emerged. Turning off the CD player, he explained that this second song had been written recently, based on true events that had occurred in the life of one of Bala’s devotees. This long-time devotee, an extremely pious woman, had been plagued by numerous financial problems. Often, she could not even afford the bus fare from Chennai to Nemili, nor pay for her chidren’s clothing and education. However, her constant and unswerving devotion to Bala helped her to overcome all her problems. Today, she and her family are in a more prosperous state due to Bala’s grace. Her children have managed to come by a decent education and good employment.

Listening to this graceful and gentle man speaking in a soothing tone made me forget all my problems. We chatted for a while about the painting I had given to Sri Haran Aiya at Rochester and the story behind that particular portrait. As I did Namaskaram and stood up to take my leave, Sri Ezhilmani asked me why I had brought in the tray with the Veshti and Saree.

I explained that the saree was for his wife, and that I had actually come to Nemili to obtain his blessings before I started any preparations for the wedding. Sri Ezhilmani asked me to wait for a while and meet his family. By now, a few other visitors had entered the Peetam. So, I retired to the back of the hall and sat near one of the pillars, my eyes closed and focused on Bala.

After a short while, Sri Ezhilmani took me to a small room. This room opened off from the long corridor that led from the peetam into the family’s living quarters.

My first impression of Sri Ezhilmani’s wife was that she looked very young.

Nagalakshmi Amma is an extremely cheerful and happy person. Very soon, I felt completely at ease with her. I sat inside this large room talking to Ezhilmani and his wife about my earliest experience of “Bala” in my “dream” and about subsequent supernatural incidents. I spoke to them about my Guru, my devotion to Skanda, about my first experience at Bala Peetam, the paintings that followed “at Her command”, and also narrated clearly all the events leading up to Bala fixing up the date of my daughter’s wedding.

Sri Ezhilmani had made only one comment during my narration. He mentioned that Lord Muruga was also the main deity worshipped by his family. In fact, he said that Bala and Murugan were just as much a part of him as his two eyes. As we were chatting his two sons entered the room. I recognized “Babaji”, his elder son, instantly. I had not yet met his younger son, Mohan, and he seemed to be a very gentle, thoroughly humble and devout young man.

As I did a namaskaram for Babaji, he immediately said “I would never have come to meet you today, if Bala had not asked me to do so. You have obviously come here today under a lot of stress and Bala has asked us, as a family, to help you”.
Babaji’s eyes seemed to glow fiercely, emanating an intense light.

I was completely stunned by the veracity of his remarks. It was all true. I had been to Bala’s Peetam several times over the past few years, starting from 2002. Yet this was indeed the first time I was meeting Nagalakshmi Amma, Babaji and Mohan.
It was also true that while Bala had set the date for my daughter’s wedding and indicated that SHE would perform it, I had interpreted this to mean that Sri Ezhilmani and his wife might be present at my daughter’s wedding in order to bless the couple. I had not really expected much more than that. In fact, this was the reasoning behind my request to Haran Aiya to perform the wedding.

Now, circumstances had been completely reversed. Misunderstandings among family members had left me largely bereft of family support . Here I was, at the Peetam , and an entirely new family was ready to give me support because Bala had asked them to intervene on my behalf. My eyes blurred with tears and for a few moments, I was overwhelmed.

Soon, regaining my composure, I related once again to Sri Ezhilmani’s wife and his sons the extraordinary events that had preceded the decision to have the wedding in the inauspicious month of Margazhi (January). I also informed them that my family priest had found both the date and timing for the Muhurtham totally unsuitable. In fact, several family members had asked me if I didn’t care at all about my daughter’s welfare since I was arranging her wedding day, an incredibly important occasion, during what appeared to be a completely inauspicious period of the year, on a bad day (according to the position of the birth stars for the bride and groom), and to top it all off, during Rahu Kalam (a totally inauspicious time of day).

My reaction to all the opposition from family members had thus far been one of complete indifference. I told them that Bala Tripurasundari Of Sri Nemili Bala Peetam had especially fixed this wedding and that She would personally conduct it .

I had absolutely no doubt that Bala would help and support me. However, little did I realize that day in what manner and exactly how she would choose to shower her Grace!

I proceeded to pay my respects to this truly remarkable family. Sri Ezhilmani and Nagalakshmi Amma ( I shall call her Baby Amma henceforth) reiterated their words of support. They said they would sustain me through their prayers, by their presence and that every member of their vast, extended family would attend the wedding of my daughter because this was a wedding ordained and fixed by Bala!

Leaving the Peetam that day, I felt I was floating on air. I had come in with a heavy heart, desperately entreating Bala to help me. It seemed to me that She had heard my fervent prayers and replied resoundingly through her favourite child, Babaji!

On my way out, I reminded Sri Ezhilmani about the hall that Bala had instructed should be built across from the Peetam. I was informed that works had been started and that the hall would be completed by the New Year.